Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
