have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
