You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
