We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
