Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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