And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
