i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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