i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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