Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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