party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I checked into jail on foursquare
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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