Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
