Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
