um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
