Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
