I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize