Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
