I think I died a long time ago.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
