Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
