let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize