i jhust puked up my retainher.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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