I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
