So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
