He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
