Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
whose parrot is this?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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