your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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