But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
