is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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