are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
