it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize