Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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