I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
