after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
