Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
