Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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