Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize