I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
