Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
