Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize