it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
