Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
