a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
