new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
