Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize