It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
