I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
