Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
