remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
