Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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