you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
