When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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