Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
