But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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