Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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