You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
