i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
