i jhust puked up my retainher.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
