he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I party with great urgency now.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
