Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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