sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize